So I was talking about Asian culture. Yes, our parents like to arrange our marriages. They like to introduce us to their friends’ daughters/sons, or their friends’ friends’ daughters/sons. They want us to get married as soon as the girl hit 20 and around 25 for the boys. Family oriented is what we are born with. Our parents want to see their children get married and then have babies then career and other stuff will fall into place. That’s what they think.
Westerners completely go the opposite way. Work, career first then family later. Some people are so caught up with their careers that they even forget about getting a family for themselves. I’ve seen a lot of successful people yet when you talk to them about family and stuff, they just say that they haven’t found the right one or they’re still too busy with their careers. Then those people are the one who mostly pay for the intimacy. That’s why the sex industry quite popular. People are so caught up with their works that they don’t have time to date. Or some people they just like one nighter and move on to the next one. They’d rather pay to get sex and after that they can go back to focus on their careers than to have serious relationships. It’s kinda sad sometimes because later after all the success they’ve achieved, there is no special person to share with. That when the big word “Love” gets into the scene.
Each individual for sure has to have at least 2 loves in a life time. I wouldn’t say 1 at least because now a day we are at fast pace environment. Everything comes quick also leaves quick too. So there is no guarantee that you will only have 1 love in your life time. We start loving when we hit puberty. There are so many things about sex that we are curious about. So it’s not easy to hold yourself back when your hormone starts making you do the stuff that is called “taboo” for teenager. Then by the time you go to college, not many boys and girls are virgins. People even laugh at you if you’re still a virgin. I find that’s funny because again, it’s totally opposite with Asian culture, especially my culture. Virginity is so important to the girls that they are only allowed to have sex once they get married. In my culture they call virginity is “that thousand golds”. It means even a thousand golds can’t buy. Even though now a day most of the girls have sex before they’re even hit 18. However, parents don’t know or the girls will have their heads shaved and put black oil on (that’s what my mom used to tell me!).
I feel like I’m speaking about the differences about sex and love in Asian culture and Western. Asian culture always wants marriage first, love comes after. But Westerner is a firm believer you marry the one you love. However, I find that sometime arrange marriage works well because you can see that, if it’s not for family, we’re less responsible. We don’t really care about what happen. We enjoy our singles time but we don’t realize that once we hit a certain age, a family is what we desire.
Everyone has their own opinions how they would like to live their lives. But right now, I see that love, sex and people are kind of messy. It’s all over the places and sometime we get confused. We don’t know what we want.
I am lucky to have found the man I love.
You’ll only be able to love someone when you open yourself up. Let your guard down. Selfishness cannot come in between love.