Another day. Today is the third day of Lunar New Year. I don’t really do much thing at all. Just washed some clothes which were required hand-wash. Then dried up some towels. I’m thinking of cleaning the rest of the apartment since Muchi is coming back in 8 days. Even though He’s coming home but I still miss him for some reason. Haven’t seen him for over a month already. Haizzzz. I watched like 3 Bollywood movies today :o. I like watching Indian movies! Not because I am dating an Indian man but I think I like watching Indian movie since I was little. I like the dance part also the movies are quite bollywood but most of the time, the movie always brings out the love whether it’s true or not but I believe it bases on some true.
I have so much free time, and all I do is thinking and I don’t even know what I am thinking about. I got kicked out from one of my job. It’s not a big problem but somehow I feel a little empty for not working full time. It makes me feel good when I’m busy 😦 and it helps me less worry about being sort of money :S. I have phone bill, gas, A.R.C, student loan to pay :S even though I have not yet paid a cent to my student loan but I am trying to manage to pay for that too. Now I only work freelance with Lancome I can’t even make enough money how the hell am I supposed to spend for the next month :S Hopefully, I get the BCBG job. OMG it will make my New Year Splendid!!! Even though I hate going through a new job but sure I will get used to it and start all out great! But now all I have to worried is whether I get the job or not. If not, I will for sure trying to get into The Bay to work even though I don’t like that place :(.
Dating Muchi makes me feel so small :(. I am proud to be his girlfriend, but somehow I feel I’m so small compare to him. I mean small in society. He’s well known, his family are also well known. Most of the people in his circle are well known people. I’m just an unknown person :S. I feel like a cinderella in his story :/. Don’t know why I feel like that.
He’s passionate about his work. He likes to leave something that people will know about him when he dies. I am the opposite. I don’t like to leave anything behind because I believe once you’re dead you bring everything to grave with you. People will remember you, but then you’ll be forgotten by time. It’s kinda sad to say but whether or not you leave something, you do not know if people treasure it or not. I’d rather be an unknown person. Jeee, I sound like a loner…but I think so Loner I am. Who to blame…no one. It feels like God challenges me through time. He’s given me a chance and he taken it away from me when I haven’t finished that chance. Maybe cuz I made promise then I didn’t keep my promise Or he just wants me to observe. I don’t know what that for but it’s kind of annoying when you think too much and you cannot make it come true to your wish. Dream doesn’t cost money but somehow you want to make the dream comes true you have to wake up and do it. But how?