Dec 22nd, 2 days left then it’ll be Christmas, it’s so weird that I dont really feel like the Christmas is coming. Back then when I was in Vietnam, I couldn’t wait for the holiday, but in here, it’s just normal for me as everydaygoes by. I’m used to it. Always alone when it’s holiday, especially the day of some people get together and celebrate. I don’t. I don’t feel sad at all. Loneliness already fills up my heart and mind, so there’s no more place to fill. Its’s empty. I can’t think of anything to get outof this blank world. I hate staying at home. It’s just so scary. Every time I get home, it’s the same old thing. 4 walls around me, emptiness inside, boring, and again, many stuff comes to mind. I cannot stop thinking if I’m alone. Why should I keep doing this to myself? I don’t want it, but I don’t know how to get out of it.
I wish I could be an angel, so that I could guard the one I love without expectation.