If I could choose somewhere to live, I would choose a place where I could enjoy the nature. Not too cold, not too hot. Somewhere I could feel like in heaven. A lonely place, maybe? But I don’t wanna be lonely. At least with someone (…), with my half part…Is it possible? I believe it is, but it’s just not the right time yet. Mankind is too greedy to appreciate everything they have, like I. Even though my dream is just that simple, but I know, my journey is not going to end there. I would go further and further when I reach my goal…My destiny is endless.
However, in my illusion, I always dream about that place. A small town, little population, where everyone knows each other. Normal, simple life…Like the town in Beauty and the Beast, or other disney movie that I’ve watched… they looked so simple, and that was what I wished for. But it’s different in reality…I don’t have gut to leave everything behind, and start all over again. I don’t have the gut to adventure like my grandma did through the years. All I can do is dreaming and keeping it. I don’t know what to do. My shoulder is heavy. I feel like I’m carrying 2 water buckets on my shoulder when I was younger. Now it’s even heavier as time goes by.
Even though I told myself I wouldn’t look back the past, but when I’m alone, I always think about it.
There is only 1 dream that I’ve dreamed of…I beautiful green field, a farm with different kind of animals, a garden…a lake beside the house…what should I wish for more? I want my life simple…but it’s too complicated to get that simple.
It’s funny to a person like me, I’ve lived for 23 years :), and now my brain is still so childish. I can feel it, but I can’t change myself. I know it’s hurt but I still do it. I know it’s wrong but I won’t fix it. I cry. I blame myself for being stupid, but I can’t stop. Look back, I haven’t changed anything, have I?
I’m proud of myself, I think I know everything, but I know nothing
I think I can do everything but I haven’t done anything
What I have done is imagining…thinking too much…
Never take anyone’s advices
What the hell am I writing??2#%^&*
People think I’m lucky, I’ll take that. They always see me as a happy person. I’m always smiling, cheering…But when I get to my room, I don’t know what I am.
Here comes another year. My 24 year of age :/, I’m getting old. People at my age, they already have their career stable, but I…Still I fucking high school student LOL. Now I just wanna study and study, take my life as easy as I can because I don’t what I wanna be for my future. Sounds funny eh…My life is just running around circle, chasing delusion. Don’t know when I’m gonna end up in a place that I’ve always wished for…But, this year, I won’t waste time again 🙂
Happy New Year to the world. May the eyes of the God bless everyone in the world.